I only have a fraction of the information that someone who is in the room with you and your wife gets just by watching and listening to the two of you. There are also hormone creams. Find a skilled marital therapist to help you uncover real solutions to the difficulties you've been having. Focus on the exceptions In your quest to figure out what turns you on, you should focus on the exceptions. I now know that I was wrong in what I did and what I expected of him. I have shunned You and withheld my body from my husband.
It will stimulate some great discussions and who knows what else. It does not have to be reciprocal. Your wife is probably more aware of your involvement with other women than you think. Certainly, if you are in love with someone and have a healthy sex life, your spouse should not be having sex with other people. Michele Weiner Davis, author of the book, Sex Starved Marriage explained why a low sex marriage is a major problem in a marriage: It's when one partner is desperately yearning for more touch, physical closeness, more sex, and the other partner is thinking: What is the big deal? Here are a couple of suggestions that might help boost your spouse's morale. Your wife might not feel as though she is truly connected to you, especially if you have just gone through serious life experiences together, such as the birth of a child or the death of a loved one. Mental triggers might include being upset, resentful or angry with their partner, or it might be something much more benign, like just having given birth or being the sole caregiver to a loved one — these things can be draining and leave her with no energy for sex.
There is nothing wrong with wanting your spouse to also be your best fantasy. That spells death to genuinely meaningful intimacy. Childhood Sexual Abuse In the example above, Jay had been sexually molested as a young boy. Follow me on , add my Divorce Busting Page, and subscribe to the Divorce Busting Videos for more advice and upcoming marriage saving. Backing off for a while and letting her be the one to initiate the sexual activity might be a first good step. Other advice was to tell your significant other what you want, or to show them. If you really want to understand your wife, remember this: For a woman, sex requires a willingness to be vulnerable, transparent, and open to her husband's advances.
This could open up all kinds of new options for you and your wife. Create a Connection Many women need to feel connected to their partners before they are ready to jump into bed with them. Patricia Love and Jo Robinson. However, for millions of couples, there is trouble behind closed doors. Only you know if it is worth it to you to change the conversation so that it might have a different outcome.
Sometimes it's hard to put into words the things that turn you on. Go Above and Beyond Keep in mind that your wife might simply need more affection from you. My partner is never interested. That isn't going to change things. The question I have for these wives is why not let your husbands get sexual fulfillment elsewhere? His email is egogotemple yahoo. Your marriage won't last that long.
Im on the same boat as you, im the one with high drive. Mental factors play into the situation as well. Just because your spouse does not find you attractive does not mean you are not attractive. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try.
First, it creates resentment and frustration. They aren't an alcoholic or drug-addict. When people nudge themselves, even halfheartedly, to get their feet moving, their pleasurable physical sensations often override any reason to resist. You need to take responsibility for making things better so that you will feel more loving toward your spouse. Michele, I have a husband who is a good guy; great father, good provider, but I have no lover. .
But I needed help to get past the mental torture I was experiencing, and it was wrong of me not to get it. But it can change if the desire is there on both sides. Your wife wanted sex in the past. Michele Weiner Davis is the creator of the Busting Centers, learn more on how you can solve marriage problems and stop divorce. This is sad, but many women are not programmed to allow themselves to be a bad girl, or slutty in the bedroom. I too am tired of hearing that it's a failing or that there must be something wrong with me.