The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. A: He kept picking up birdies! Q: Why were Tiger and Elin arguing at 2:30 in the morning? How come you are so sure of that distance? So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred. Look I told you we don't carry it, and if you come in again I'm going to nail your web feet to the floor! A woodworker is applying for a job and must answer three questions! A: Santa Claus stops after 3 ho's! He did this with ever piece of wood they brought before him. A: Tiger Woods bangs prostitutes and Nike pimps out his father's memory! Earlier, she had raved about a particular wood that would be perfect for me and I should inquire about it. He went in and asked the old mechanic if he could take a look at it.
Good , give me two black, one with cream and three with cream and sugar. A: He who drives well in fairway does not always fare well in driveway. Old Jake had cut firewood by hand with a swede saw for a living going on 50 years, he averaged about four cords a day. A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks how much for a beer? A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London. A: Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter! I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? The foreman is amazed and says That's right, but I still think you're just lucky and still guessing. When the customer leaves she walks up to the counter and points to the 2 nails, Give me two pounds of those sons a bitches. A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, I'll have a shave and a shoe shine.
A: Clubbing Q: How will Elin Woods receive her divorce settlement from Tiger? Q: In which Wayan Brothers movie does Tiger Woods make a cameo? There was ten questions, we both answered nine right, how come he got the job? The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and said that meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. So they took they waitress and put her ass near his nose. Right, the chimp replied, I'm working in construction across the street for a week, then I'm laid off, now where is my beer? Meanwhile a circus came to town, the bartender mentioned the talking chimp to the owner. Q: What is the name of the porn film about Tiger Woods life A: Black Thai Affairs! Nailing, screwing, inserting A into B, oiling and rubbing, rods, knobs dovetailing and of course hardwood have been covered. I'll come back in a few weeks when the honeymoon is over replies the mom.
What is your address sir, the fireman inquired. Good , give me two black, one with cream and three with cream and sugar. Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. Q: How is Southwest Airlines capitalizing on Tiger Woods infidelty woes? Why did he say he was working in the shade? Q: What did the beaver say to the tree? A: Tiger can drive the golf ball 400 yards! They pulled into a farm yard, an attractive, middle aged lady answered the door, they explained their plight and asked if they could spend the night. The electrician's wife says, Oh, if I had only known he hated tuna. A: The Golf Channel reported that Tiger had been working with an extra-stiff shaft in between rounds of his last tournament! The blind carpenter bends over and takes a deep sniff moving his head from one side to the other and says, This is a tough one, please turn it over so I can smell the other side. The police informed him that it was Saturday night and they were really busy but would have an officer over to his place as soon as one was available, probably in about half an hour.
Q: How can you say you outdrove Tiger Woods? He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. A: Because of all the white trash he's picked up worldwide! She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, Medium. That's a Douglas Fir, 383 board feet. When questioned about it, Tiger looked at the ball with the picture and replied, Yeah, I hit that. He climbs a ladder and yells to his wife, Bring me a hammer. Fair enough, says the foreman. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours.
Tiger replied, Wait a minute. There must be some mistake, the worker replied, I am only forty years old. A: He gets a lot of bush in the jungle because he is a tiger! Sister Susan responds Well if I'm going to have to gargle this stuff, I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it! The electrician headed for the golf course, the plumber decided to take in a movie, the carpenter decided just to go home and relax. Just give me a chance, the little guy pleaded. The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
A: By now, Tiger should know the difference between the right hole and the wrong hole! Which side of a tree has the most leaves? Your husband is my best friend! A woodworker had three girl friends, he liked each of them in their own way and could not decide which of them to propose marriage to. Howard was getting tired of George his brother-in-law always borrowing from him, it started with small things and progressed to him using his shop for a month to build a dresser. Q: How did Tiger Wood's ethnicity play a role in his driving accident? Q: What was the number one answer in a survey asking 1000 women about whether they would sleep with Tiger Woods? There's a naked woman waiting for me at home. The foreman gestures with his hand to the secretary, she rolls over, and the foreman says, Ready! A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. No way, he exclaimed, Last time I almost got caught.
This circus, its in a big canvas tent? He stops the truck and hands the lumberjack a piece do chalk, Get out and mark the front of that big tree over there, he says winking at the owner. Q: How did Tiger Woods explain his cheating ways to his wife? His son returned to college and Jake began to think that maybe the young guy was right, his old body seemed to ache more and more at the end of the day, He went into town and bought a brand new top of the line chainsaw. No problem, Jack laughed, She just died and left me the farm. First of all, it's twice as big. Fred was getting along in age and decided to go to the doctor for a check up. Q: What is Tiger Woods favorite pick-up line? Each of da trees is dirty now! A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. The owner says, That would be me.